last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize