I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
