I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
