when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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