I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
