Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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