we made out on top of his cat.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
