okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
