He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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