I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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