I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
