my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
