I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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