why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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