at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
