How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
