we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
