I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
