I can text with my tongue
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
