I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
