doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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