I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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