Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
