He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
