How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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