DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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