I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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