I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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