Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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