Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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