im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
