I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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