watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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