Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize