I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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