If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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