I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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