Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
