You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
