I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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