I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize