I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
