Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
