is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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