Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
