she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
