so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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