I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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