I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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