Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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