i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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