so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
