Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize