we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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