we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
