did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize