first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize