Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You ate ashes out of my bong
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
