The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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