No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
