If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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