I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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