Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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